Brian!

#IDFWU

November!

November brings love from Oregon and New York! 

Two of my soul sisters are back in my arms where they belong! 

They're Baaaaack!

Bing

Bang

Boom

GO DOLPHINS!!!!

You Ain't No '72.

So I took down the undefeated team in our league this week! Best part: I did it with THIS asshole! Why do I feel like he's saying, "Yadda-da-da!" in his head? Oh yeah, JAZZ HANDS. (Really, bro?) Oh Nick Foles, why has your clavicle forsaken me?

I also had Sproles!

Thank you Dirty Former-Jet Turbodouche Sanchez for making this possible. I want to see if they use the same plays that they would have with Foles. I'm crossing my fingers that he forgets how much he sucks and pulls a rabbit out of his butthole this week.

Apparently, Nice Guys Finish First

I can't wait to see these guys on Saturday! They play right after the Slackers!

DREAM SHOW!

Goodnight!

4:30am. Just got home. Tobacco Road, I will miss you!

Mini Frida wins Halloween!

Best In Show

Christopher Guest and Jaime Lee Curtis: Best Couple EVER.

P + J

Yes, this is us, and Tina is Andee. 100%

Fashion and Fraggles

Why is this happening!?

RIP Gerard Parkes. Fraggle Rock was my life, and you were such a big part of that. My early childhood obsession was one of my mother's favorite memories of me. Thank you for that. I will play my Fraggle Rock record tonight in your honor, and spin-dance like I did as a toddler like old times! I know Pablo will join in! Mom, this dance is for you!

RIP Oscar de la Renta. You were one of my grandmother's favorite designers. She was a NYC fashion reporter who was MY fashion icon as a child, therefore, I grew up on your designs and artistry. You have made some of the most amazing dresses and shoes that I have EVER seen. You truly are fashion royalty, and I hope that you're making a dress for my grandmother right now, because she's been waiting for your arrival.

Can we say, "Dreamboat?"

Another Toasters Show!

So OBVIOUSLY I went to The Toasters show on Saturday. I got to introduce Pablo to Buck, who I have been friends with forever now. He was excited for me, and it was so nice to see him again. He's been with the band since day one, and I'm proud of them for being the longest-running American ska band (even if HE is from Dorset). He's seen me grow up, and I love that. He's known me since I was a kid, bopping around at his shows. Well, he delivered another amazing show, and I got Jahida and Pablo hooked. We went with Andee and Clarice, who always attend with me. I love them, and him, and that damn ska!

Jack Ruby is always at the Ft Lauderdale shows because he lives in the area. That makes it feel like he never left the band, which fucking rules. I love seeing his kids dance on stage (especially when he drags my ladies and me up there to dance, too!)

Andee and I also found half of a lizard (it's ass and legs), and took a Corey shot before leaving...because we're gross like that. Yes, we will lay on the street with dead animals. God damnit, I fucking love her. This is why we are as close as we are.

The last time Andee and I went to see them, we were with Orlando. I miss you, friend.

You Weren't Supposed To Feed Him After Midnight.

STFU

This Millennium Falcon was made with hash oil.

Hoodrat Inside

 Pablo Quotes:
"You're all Dangerous Minds, and I'm all Stand and Deliver."

My Little Barfly In The Sky

Woman, I am devastated. You were above the rest. You will be missed SO MUCH.

The Real Deal.

I miss you, friend. It's been over a week, and I still can't believe it. I know that wherever you are, you're kicking ass and singing really loud. That makes me happy. Ps. You really should have brought back that hair. RIP Orlando Sanchez 1979-2014

Orlando

GutsandGlitter made this stencil. Expect to see it ALL over Miami.

 

Expect so see some fine work from AHOLSNIFFSGLUE, too. 

We're lucky, my friend. Thank you for your friendship.

Joan

Can I just say that I love that Gordie did this? You make me proud, my little turd. My grandmother got to say she shared a hair stylist with Elizabeth Taylor, and I get to say I shared a tattoo artist with Joan Rivers! I am SO PROUD OF YOU, Gordie!

My Sweetest Friend

Words cannot express how saddened I am for the passing of my sweet friend, Orlando. He was someone who could give you a bear hug that would make all of your problems disappear in an instant. Ever the gentleman, ever the comedian, ever the muppet-lover, ever the friend. I had JUST finished watching The Muppet Movie on Saturday morning, the one that came out in 1979, the year he was born, when I got the frantic calls from both of my best friends. It was surreal. It still is. We had a lot of really awesome times that I will look back on fondly. Part of me is still waiting for that typical, "Fooled you!" (in Dark Helmet's voice, of course) to come through text, with a picture of some social mutant with the caption, "Your Team!" In fact, this was his last "your team" to me:

Then he said this WAS me:

Obviously, because of my keen fashion sense in Chicago:

The last picture that we ever took together was on my birthday. You always went to my birthday parties. I hate that you won't drink a shot of Jameson, while I drink my signature Vodka Cranberry next time. I hate it so fucking much, man.

In this last picture, you were wishing me a happy birthday, and I was telling you that I was happy that you came out for my annual Churchill's gathering. I look like an idiot in this picture, so feel free to put me on my own team. Had I known that this would be one of the last times I would see you, you bet your ass I would have hugged you a lot harder.

And here you were at what was probably my second worst birthday party in 2011 (during a long streak of notoriously terrible birthdays), but you came out and made me laugh.

Orlando, we got to watch a lot of BBC together. We also watched a lot of Mel Brooks and "Horror" movies. Just simply being able to sit around watching movies on end with someone is a true sign on friendship in my eyes. Thanks for introducing me to The IT Crowd! We watched that remake of The Thing, which gave me nightmares, as well as that godawful scene in Paranormal Activity 3 with the sheet. You know what I'm talking about. I still get creeped out when I see anything under a sheet. Thanks for that.

I will always remember the Taco Bell adventure at 5am after a night of punk rock and being surrounded by all of our friends. I will remember all of the shows that we went to, and the music that you shared with me. Fuck man, you had the best taste in music EVER. In fact, I'm seeing the Toasters next month, and I'm destroyed that you won't get to hear them play, "Go Girl" (which is also my favorite) and do that goofy dance that you always do. I hope you know that we all played Ace of Base on repeat yesterday at Churchill's and did your signature dance. At 6'3", it was quite the sight to see. Thank you for driving all the way up to Ft. Lauderdale that night, thank you for always flicking me off the minute that I walk into Churchill's, thank you for the random hilarious picture texts, thank you for your hugs, thank you for your kind words that I will never forget, like when you said I was made of "good stuff," and thank you most of all for our genuine friendship.

You were a special man, dear to all of your friends, your family, and your beautiful Bailey. I cannot imagine what your family is going through right now. I think your sister took over your Facebook page yesterday. I'm so sorry that I never got to get serious and tell you what an amazing friend you were to me, because we were always too busy making fun of each other. I sincerely hope you knew. After talking to Blocks and Bailey yesterday, I think you did. I was scrolling through our messages on Facebook and came across the ones where you were concerned that Bailey wasn't happy with her hair. I'm taking her to get dinner and a haircut tonight. You would have wanted that, and I've got your back.

I wore the Dead Milkmen shirt that we both got at the show, and I drove down to our favorite bar to have a shot of Jameson in your honor. Everyone was really excited that I wore it, and we all talked about how we felt you there with us as some dickhead played "Hurt" (the Johnny Cash version) and we all cried. However, we blasted Slayer in your honor right after that and we all thought about the better times. Ghostbusters 2 was playing on the projector the whole time. God damn, we had Ace of Base on repeat. We are such nerds for you. I hope you know how much you mean to all of us. I miss you, bro. SO MUCH. Please send me the text that all of this was one big prank and tell me that I'm on my own team for falling for it, and flash that goofy grin. To end this on a good note, here are all of your best friends, drinking your beloved Jameson in your honor.

Mom, please take care of my friend, Orlando, the greatest giver of hugs.

Here is an article that our friend Abel wrote about him: Miami New Times: Orlando

 

My Munchkin

It's Miss Clarice's birthday today! Woohoo! Pablo and I went to CB Smith park for a delicious barbeque extravaganza, some phenomenal piñata beatdowns, and the best game of frisbee to ever happen. Pablo and I played with Andee and Garo, and not to toot our own horn or anything, but we were kind of badass out there! We got to hang out with the awesome ladies of the Gold Coast Derby team again, and it was great!

Fantasy Beating.

This is my dear Todd. Todd is getting his ass handed to him in our fantasy league by none other than myself. Just thought I should gloat you should know.

Reiteration.

Just to reiterate what I've already said a million times:
I FUCKING LOVE NATALIA TENA.

#WCW

Sloppy Hoes!

Seriously, you need to try Los' cooking. He actually got me to EAT at CHURCHILL'S. That actually happened. He's an amazing chef, and paired with his lady of love, my beautiful Nayra, they are keeping my beloved shithole alive and well. Check out Adam's article:

For the full article, click here.

Patti Smith

Can I just say that I fucking love Patti Smith? K, Thanks.

C-A-N-E-S-'CANES!

We rocked 'em like Hurricanes on Saturday! I've also decided that I need to be a season ticket holder again. My dad has the 4 tickets, but I think it's time that I get my own.

Big Tings A-Changin'

Next step to come soon. I'm quite excited about the doors that have just opened, and I can't wait to find out where they take me!

Come To Butthead

...Butthead being said in Biff Tannen's voice, of course (or perhaps Mad Dog Tannen's voice in this movie). No, but seriously...that kid with his "come hither" gestures to his crotch. He's all, "I've got your sports almanac right here, bitch." This kid is magic.

Guess What I'm Doing Tonight?

Yup. Hard Rock. Steve Martin. Martin Short. BOOM.

And There You Have It.