Words cannot express how saddened I am for the passing of my sweet friend, Orlando. He was someone who could give you a bear hug that would make all of your problems disappear in an instant. Ever the gentleman, ever the comedian, ever the muppet-lover, ever the friend. I had JUST finished watching The Muppet Movie on Saturday morning, the one that came out in 1979, the year he was born, when I got the frantic calls from both of my best friends. It was surreal. It still is. We had a lot of really awesome times that I will look back on fondly. Part of me is still waiting for that typical, "Fooled you!" (in Dark Helmet's voice, of course) to come through text, with a picture of some social mutant with the caption, "Your Team!" In fact, this was his last "your team" to me:
Then he said this WAS me:
Obviously, because of my keen fashion sense in Chicago:
The last picture that we ever took together was on my birthday. You always went to my birthday parties. I hate that you won't drink a shot of Jameson, while I drink my signature Vodka Cranberry next time. I hate it so fucking much, man.
In this last picture, you were wishing me a happy birthday, and I was telling you that I was happy that you came out for my annual Churchill's gathering. I look like an idiot in this picture, so feel free to put me on my own team. Had I known that this would be one of the last times I would see you, you bet your ass I would have hugged you a lot harder.
And here you were at what was probably my second worst birthday party in 2011 (during a long streak of notoriously terrible birthdays), but you came out and made me laugh.
Orlando, we got to watch a lot of BBC together. We also watched a lot of Mel Brooks and "Horror" movies. Just simply being able to sit around watching movies on end with someone is a true sign on friendship in my eyes. Thanks for introducing me to The IT Crowd! We watched that remake of The Thing, which gave me nightmares, as well as that godawful scene in Paranormal Activity 3 with the sheet. You know what I'm talking about. I still get creeped out when I see anything under a sheet. Thanks for that.
I will always remember the Taco Bell adventure at 5am after a night of punk rock and being surrounded by all of our friends. I will remember all of the shows that we went to, and the music that you shared with me. Fuck man, you had the best taste in music EVER. In fact, I'm seeing the Toasters next month, and I'm destroyed that you won't get to hear them play, "Go Girl" (which is also my favorite) and do that goofy dance that you always do. I hope you know that we all played Ace of Base on repeat yesterday at Churchill's and did your signature dance. At 6'3", it was quite the sight to see. Thank you for driving all the way up to Ft. Lauderdale that night, thank you for always flicking me off the minute that I walk into Churchill's, thank you for the random hilarious picture texts, thank you for your hugs, thank you for your kind words that I will never forget, like when you said I was made of "good stuff," and thank you most of all for our genuine friendship.
You were a special man, dear to all of your friends, your family, and your beautiful Bailey. I cannot imagine what your family is going through right now. I think your sister took over your Facebook page yesterday. I'm so sorry that I never got to get serious and tell you what an amazing friend you were to me, because we were always too busy making fun of each other. I sincerely hope you knew. After talking to Blocks and Bailey yesterday, I think you did. I was scrolling through our messages on Facebook and came across the ones where you were concerned that Bailey wasn't happy with her hair. I'm taking her to get dinner and a haircut tonight. You would have wanted that, and I've got your back.
I wore the Dead Milkmen shirt that we both got at the show, and I drove down to our favorite bar to have a shot of Jameson in your honor. Everyone was really excited that I wore it, and we all talked about how we felt you there with us as some dickhead played "Hurt" (the Johnny Cash version) and we all cried. However, we blasted Slayer in your honor right after that and we all thought about the better times. Ghostbusters 2 was playing on the projector the whole time. God damn, we had Ace of Base on repeat. We are such nerds for you. I hope you know how much you mean to all of us. I miss you, bro. SO MUCH. Please send me the text that all of this was one big prank and tell me that I'm on my own team for falling for it, and flash that goofy grin. To end this on a good note, here are all of your best friends, drinking your beloved Jameson in your honor.
Mom, please take care of my friend, Orlando, the greatest giver of hugs.
Here is an article that our friend Abel wrote about him: Miami New Times: Orlando
