Sigh.

I have a super crush.

Tightrope.

little girl: what's a hard-on, daddy? I heard amanda say it, and she won't tell me what it means.

clintfuckingeastwood: well, darling, it's...it's...when a man is attracted to a woman...he likes her, understand?

little girl: no.

*I like how I can mention, "A Clint Eastwood movie with an Oil Wrestling scene," and Pablo knows that it's Tightrope within 3 seconds. That's the kind of shit that makes a girl proud. Well played, sir...well played.

Run Along.

Merry Fucking Christmas!

It's nice to be grinning like David Johansen in Scrooged on Christmas. Where on earth did you come from? Where have you been hiding?! Hmmm...



I miss you, Mom. VERY much.

Gullicalf

aaaaaaaand, just because it's hilarious:

8th grade slow-dancing, ass grabbing, and ear-blowing with The Coreys.
When will the pictures of Gianna's wedding STOP!? hahaha!

Thanks, Erika!

Ah, The Beltones show. Thanks for the pics, Erika!


Redheads! Rachel and Erika.


The best shit, is friendshit! I love Ryan.

Meeeeeeee.

Big Fucking Bopper.

Another night at The Poorhouse with Andee: Not only did we reenact the scene from Saved By The Bell when Jessie Spano flips out on caffiene pills, but we also did Flashdance. This brings me to question why I haven't broken up with vodka yet.



And now, some gratuitous Corey Haim action:

How Right He Is.

You Will Be Missed.

HBO...quit playing with my emotions.

Good Times.

And Goodnight.

Drunk History vol. 2.5 - Featuring Jack Black from Jack Black

"Heeeeey, we lit a fire together and we made some chicken pot pie. We made a couple of drinks together, maybe I could fuck you."

Just Call Me Betsy Braddock

*Don't Read Into This.

It's just my favorite Police song :)

It's The Third Annual Corey Christmas Tradition!

It's time to decorate the tree and shove a branch up Bumble's ass!

Me: (4:46:34 PM) i'm retiring the side-ponytail
Andee: (4:47:12 PM) dont you ever say that to me again
Andee: (4:47:32 PM) who do you think you are?
Me: (4:47:42 PM) it's just
Andee: (4:47:44 PM) you just broke my heart
Andee: (4:47:46 PM) dont
Andee: (4:47:51 PM) just dont.
Andee: (4:48:06 PM) i need to pretend you didnt say that
Me: (4:48:16 PM) but
Andee: (4:48:21 PM) shhhhhh

Can't. Stop. Watching.

This happened very late last Saturday night, in good company.

All Day Long

I can't stop.



Stiff Little Fingers, you're always there when I need you.

Care Package

I had a really shitty day, then I received a care package tonight from a friend.



Jar Contents:
An Interesting Cookie
A Purple Cowboy Bracelet
A Triceratops Figurine
Trojan Ultra Thin Condom
A Bullet
A Lock of Her Hair


I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends.

Really?

Funny, I don't recall driving my DeLorean.